How to Be Sick (Second Edition): A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers

I run a community on Facebook called “Attitude of Gratitude with Chronic Pain” where our focus lies on living our best lives despite our conditions. The messages shared in Toni Bernhard’s fantastic book “How to Be Sick” play a vital role in our group’s message as well as the tools we use.Living with chronic pain and illness does not have to mean “game over” for a fulfilling life, and Toni’s important Buddhist-based strategies on things such as acceptance, mindfulness, setting boundaries, and finding joy in the small things can make all the difference. I am a fan of all of Toni’s work because NOBODY else talks about HOW we can move forth with joy and I intention. Her message makes sense and it works as long as you have the willingness to approach your condition in a new way.We don’t often have much control over our physical aspects of our conditions, but we DO have control over how we respond to it. “How to Be Sick” IS a way to respond that has brought joy and fulfillment to the 8,500 members of my community as well as myself. I have had the pleasure of having Toni on my weekly live broadcast a few times and her appearances and mindful approach to living with chronic pain and illness are ALWAYS very popular and well-received.I have both the full-size version of this book as well as this handy pocket guide, and it is most definitely a MUST HAVE for anyone living with chronic conditions who yearn to live a full life despite our conditions. Toni Bernhard is the most important writer for the chronic pain community, and I am forever GRATEFUL for her approach and message.

I've been living with chronic illness my entire life: I was born with a genetic immune deficiency which has worsened with age. Along with the immune deficiency, I have several other auto-immune conditions as well as a chronic pain syndrome. To look at me, you'd never know how sick I am: I look perfectly fine on the outside. People like me are said to have "invisible illnesses." We are often misunderstood by family members, friends, even health professionals (for those of us with rare conditions, like me). Trying to live a full and happy life despite my health challenges is my greatest struggle. It's even more profound now that I'm a mother: I don't want my daughter to see me as a sick person. I want to be the best that I can be for her, and have the most positive outlook possible.So it was with excitement that I read Toni Bernhard's How to Be Sick. I read an article written by Toni online and loved her writing style and message. I immediately bought her book and I simply devoured it. This book spoke to me and affected me deeply. I am a Christian and was a little leery of the fact that this book is Buddhist-inspired. I didn't know what that meant, really. All I knew about Buddhism is that practitioners meditate. That was it!Toni gently educates the reader by applying Buddhism's principles to how to live peacefully with chronic illness. The main concept of this book is how to alleviate the mental suffering that accompanies chronic illness. Common examples of mental suffering are: asking why is this happening to me, being envious of healthy people, and being uncertain about the future (when will I relapse, will this treatment work, fear of testing and doctor visits, and fear of being unable to attend family events, etc). These issues are all things I struggle with in my every day life. So, to read a book that teaches me specific ways to address these fears was a true gift.I loved that Toni gives so many practical examples throughout the book. The examples really drove the points home and made me feel like I could start applying what I learned right away. There is a great section at the end of the book with bullet points of what to do in certain situations. I loved that!As soon as I finished How to Be Sick, I turned back to page one and got my highlighter ready. Now I'm reading the book a second time and really making a study of this insightful, life-changing guide. I can't say enough good things about this book. If you have anyone in your life who is chronically ill, or a caregiver, I would highly recommend How to Be Sick!

My very similar to Toni's approach for tbi, head injury:Head-injury is an invisible disability, not easily seen from the outside like a wheelchair or crutches. However it's still a disability known profoundly from the inside. Gold Mind Meditation Project exists to offer you the possibility of transforming your disability into capability: being present and awake to an abiding wellness, in spite of your injury. I speak from my personal experience. You can cultivate your mind's inherent strengths. You can learn a self-generating long-term practice that will enhance your life, with satisfaction and way more smiles. Really!Let me share my experience. Returning to college thirty years ago, I was involved in a serious car wreck. I had facial laceration and a skull fracture. I was in a coma, Jaws-of-Life were required to free me from the vehicle. When I came to I had amnesia, diplopia (double-vision), and TBI (traumatic brain injury). In short, I was not who I used to be. My life was forever changed. Since that time I have lived with the challenges of TBI. I know the devastation of this condition from the inside, and wish to share what I've found to be a powerful healing benefit for me, and possibly for you.This malady has often been misdiagnosed and thus poorly treated. I struggled to complete my degree at the University and to get on with my life, very unsure of what I could be or do. Within a few years I experienced the frustrating failure of the loss of several jobs before learning that this was the result of my TBI. There is light at the end of this tunnel.In top-of-the line and expensive rehabilitation programs I was taught 'compensatory coping strategies' for the 'cognitive deficits' of my brain injury. These strategies are well-intended rehab but fell short of addressing my inner well being. They didn't work for me; I had to learn the necessary inner transformation for myself. This is cleansing the mind and knowing it's gold.I discovered Insight Meditation (Vipassana). This simple practice of sitting mindfully helps me be clear-eyed and capable of sustained attention, knowing that as obstacles arise I have the capacity to face them directly from a steady place of clear seeing. This practice is based on the intent to relieve suffering and dissatisfaction, cleansing the mind of illusions, and grounding us in a sense of dignified inner wellness, at peace beyond the physical damage.With practice you can become aware of the present moment and learn exactly what ismost needed for you. Healing is a possibility. It's been well documented by neurologists, psychologists, and doctors: mindfulness practice leads to positive brain healing (neuroplasticity). I am choosing to live my life intentionally and more skillfully. You can too. This is the start of a new path!GOLD MIND MEDITATION PROJECT [...]Had C. Walmer [email protected]

This is a brilliant little book, practical, easy to read and understand, and inspiring. I am not a practicing Buddhist but found the Buddhist practices she describes in the book really helpful, simple to assimilate, and made so much sense. I have been suffering chronic ill health for ten years, and whilst searching for cures and struggling to come to terms with the progression of the condition, it has dawned on me that so much of the suffering attached to the illness is mental, and that changing my reactions, beliefs and desires around it might actually help to alleviate the suffering.When faced with loss (of mobility, career, social life etc) she suggests seeing the thing that has been lost to have been something that existed for a certain number of years. I love this. We will all lose everything eventually, nothing lasts for ever.There is also a chapter on The Work of Byron Katie, so not entirely Buddhist practice.Toni Bernhard's wisdom has come through difficult experience and practice, it is not sentimental or off with the fairies, but just has a ring of truth and authenticity to it that shines from the pages.

This is a beautifully written book for people who, through chronic illness, will not be their old self again, and for whom, at least for now, getting better is NOT possible. I came to this as a keen proponent of ‘mindfulness’ having been completely smitten by Vidyamala Burch’s groundbreaking book, 'Living Well with Pain and Illness'.While this book explores Buddhist teaching in more detail than the latter, you don’t need to be a Buddhist yourself to learn from its teachings. Toni charts her own journey through ME, and in the process offers valuable lessons on acceptance (or noncontention if you prefer!) for those struggling to come to terms with a possibly life-long, fluctuating illness. A profoundly compassionate book. Highly recommended.

Having similar symptoms post covid i was keen to dip into this. I enjoy Tonis style and it was easy to read and relate to a difficult illness that turned her world upside down.I found many great tips (especially at the back of the book) and use them on a daily basis. You don't have to be buddhist to get something out of it but it helps.

I am half way through this book so can't speak for the whole thing. I didn't expect it to be so much about one women's experience of ME/CFS. Although the experience is interesting and reflects the story of many with this diagnosis. It highlights with good insight experience of how life is effected by both diagnosed and partner. I'm wondering how different a read it would be if it was written with a UK perspective as it talks about experience in America which for me distances the story somewhat. There are interesting passages from Buddhist teachings that fit well with supporting one through chronic illness. It's a good sign - poster for further studying of these concepts.

I simply loved this book. The author does a great job of integrating her very difficult path of illness with the most useful buddhist philosophies. I was into buddhism at one point in my life but drifted away from it. What I like most about this book is how it shows how certain buddhist concepts can be used to ease your own mental suffering, in the context of a chronic illness. In fact, having read this book my interest in buddhist philosophy has been rejuvenated. And this is not because I need some kind of spiritual safety net it is more that I can see how pragmatic and helpful it can be to adopt these strategies. This is the first book in a long while that I've bought and read, then began to reread and underline. I'll be looking at the reading list at the end also to build on what i've learned through reading this book. If you have any kind of chronic illness or chronic pain, as I do, you should buy this book.