What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing Kindle Edition

Finally! You know that feeling when you connect with someone who really gets you, and maybe can even articulate things you never realized you were thinking? That's the immediate feeling I had picking up this book. To say motherhood can be isolating or confusing is so simplistic, and does nothing to help ease those feelings for the person experiencing them. As the author correctly identifies right from the get go, most mothers struggle deeply to articulate their experiences, not just to the outside world but even to themselves. This restless can lead to self-doubt and all manner of other negative feelings. As she says so succinctly, "People like to understand what they are doing and why. A mother might well feel frustrated, anxious, and uncomfortable if she doesn't." (p. 20). This book has helped me in so many ways, and I won't be surprised if it suddenly explodes onto the American "parent scene" once enough people realize it exists. I am certainly going to make it my number one recommendation to any new mother who shows the all too familiar signs of identity crisis, guilt or self-deprecation that seem so tragically to afflict new moms today. And yes, this is a relatively new phenomenon, an unfortunate side effect of the tremendous strides women have made outside the domestic sphere in the last century. That does not mean we need to step backwards or revert to previous norms in order for mothers to regain their sense of value. It means we need a new understanding, and a new vocabulary, to describe what was once taken for granted. This book delivers it beautifully.

Well, this book was NOT in any way what I expected. Had I left a review based on the first few chapters, it would have been 3-4 stars. The author has a great premise - fleshing out what mothers do when we’re home with our children, naming and giving a vocabulary to all the important minutiae we can’t name.However, a red flag for me went way up when she posited that a mother either loves and cuddles her baby or believes her baby is the product of original sin (!) and lets the baby cry it out. That was difficult to even understand, frankly. The author picks up steam with these bizarre arguments as the book goes on. She praises mothers who feel too much anxiety to ever leave their children in someone else’s hands without ever mentioning the very real specter of post partum depression and anxiety, which I found extremely dangerous. She criticizes feminists and related literature that acknowledges the ambivalence or even anger that can arise when caring for a tiny dependent person all day, going so far as to “figure out” why women like Adrienne Rich felt the way they did. Spoiler - it’s not because this is a natural and acceptable part of motherhood - and suggests if they loved and connected with their babies differently, they never would have felt this maternal frustration. Arguments like those are the worst retrograde tripe, damaging the safe space women now have to speak frankly and ask for help.Ultimately, this book was a total disappointment. I feel the author had such an important premise, which was quickly lost and abandoned for personal opinion that I’d never want any new mother to read.

Brilliant loving insights that will boost any mother into a new realm of understanding that will raise her to new heightsof awareness and empowerment. This experienced author deserves a metal for bringing this book into being. (Notice that Amazon UK has about 90 five star reviews...the US needs to catch up to this bestselling and essential book!)

I have never written a book review before and I am doing so now because I am SO excited about this book. It is exactly what I needed! As the mother of a 6 month old, things are still pretty intense and overwhelming. This book is so validating! It's like the best support group ever, but you can bring it home with you. It validates how hard mothering is and suggests a new way to look at it - a way that makes it feel as important as it truly is. This book is truly inspiring. I'm ordering several copies to give to all of my friends!

Gave this as a shower gift. The single most influential book I have read on motherhood. It has helped me talk to other moms about real mom life. Condition of this copy was superb except for small dirt smudge on cover.

I read this while at home on maternity leave with my first child. This book spoke directly to me. So many days I had it trying to keep up with a house, pets, visitors & a husband to take care of and this book spoke directly to me. It helped me keep my balance and put everything in perspective.This talks directly about those things there are not classes for -- like actually taking your new, innocent, little baby home and caring for him/her.

If you are a mother then you have to read this. Finally a piece a literature which gives all mothers permission to do what we need to do, especially to trust ourselves. It's not prescriptive, but rather gives examples of an array of real experiences to highlight the fact that there isn't just one way to mothering. This book also reinstates the term 'mothering' back into our repertoire - very refreshing.

This is a book that I give to my friends who are new mothers. It is an amazing resource. The quotes from new mothers as well as experienced wisdom of Naomi Stadlen makes it a book that is both informative and reassuring to read. I felt alone as a new mother until I read this book. After reading it I felt more connected to the community of mothers that surrounds me everyday.

2 pages in and I am hooked. I realise I bought a book, maybe the only book, I will actually gladly give up my preciously little me-time for, reading into the small hours if need be. It is incredible how the author seems to describe exactly what I, and I am sure many other mothers, was and am feeling. Why has nobody written about this topic before? The book looks simple and unpretentious, yet has so much valuable content. It feels authentic, not commercial. Such 'modest' books, in my view, are the best. I agree, this is a bestseller to hand from generation to generation.

I can't believe I've only just found this book and this author. I have worked with mothers for over 40 years and Naomi describes just what I want mothers to hear: Mothering is awesome, Mothering is THE most important job ever. Mothering is difficult and unique and deserves respect for the choices mothers make day in day out, minute by minute. Naomi listens to women and validates what they say and what they do. She demonstrates the uniqueness of every parenting situation which includes choices from across the range of possibilities to raise one special individual who will influence many others for better or worse. This is THE ultimate book for every mother - please throw out Google and all the other handbooks full of advice.

Amazing book, purchased for a baby shower gift along with some other bits. I am a breastfeeding peer su9and I found this book wonderful for new mothers. I enjoyed the read so much it will make you laugh and cry. Mother of 4 children

As a first time Mum of a 5 month old daughter, I have felt like I'm living in a parallel universe at times. This book has helped me process, and appreciate, the huge skill set required in being a Mum. The huge responsibility of keeping this little baby alive and the way it changes your relationships, is so dramatic, yet everyone seems to make it look effortless. What a wonderful and comforting book to read to make new Mums feel valued and that their efforts are important. A must-read for any new Mum.

As a first time mum (10 month old boy) this book really put into words what I have been feeling through the amazing, tiring, bewildering and wonderful time I have had since the birth of my son. I really enjoyed the book and have told my other mum friends to read it too. It's nice to read a book about motherhood that doesn't dictate to you or tell you what you 'should' be doing. Lovely style and it brought a tear to my eye a few times and quite a few smiles! I will buy this for new mums in the future instead of a babygrow!