Living Your Unlived Life: Coping with Unrealized Dreams and Fulfilling Your Purpose in the Second Half of Life Paperback – January 8, 2009

This is not a book to just read in the ordinary sense of the term. This is a book that is best judged by the results it produces for the reader, and the reader will need to work, not just read, to attain them. I read the book. I did the work. I gained some splendid benefits. For that reason, the following essay is as much a testimonial as a review.We all have unlived lives. In the process of making the decisions that defined our destinies, we decided not to do other things, which often were things we very much wanted to do, but for circumstantial reasons we could not. These desires may not just go away. They might, and often do go underground, into our subconscious minds, which silently remind us of unfinished business, of things we are "incomplete" with, or of things--sometimes we don't even know what they are--that need to be "fixed" before we are worthy of enjoying an ocean view. They find ways to seep out of us, in little acts of self-sabotage, in disruptions to our concentration when we're trying to work, in sudden uncontrollable obsessions, or in strange dreams. Or they exist as a set of values and beliefs about ourselves and the world that limit our options as we see them and lock us into a state of bland resignation to a life that seems destined to fall short, maybe by a long way, of the hopes and expectations we had when we were young.The authors take this universal aspect of human experience as their point of departure. In the early chapters of the book, they help you to become aware of this and to apply it to yourself. You begin to see that there is a shadow within you, a repository of your unlived lives. . .other people's unlived lives, too. You begin to see how these have impelled the trajectory that your life has followed. You might even see how these unlived lives affected how you got to where you are, and where you think you want to go from there. Or not go. That is the question, isn't it?In the middle of the book you are invited to create a dialogue with yourself, or rather, between two of your "selves." It is helpful in this connection to let go of the idea that we are "one," that we are unitary, integrated beings with a single persona that is always in control and always consistent, whether we are asleep or awake, aware or on automatic pilot. The truth is that most of us are just psycho-physical apparatuses playing the role of the rope in a tug-of-war between the gang of selves that live within us. It would be good, even empowering to know more about the members of this gang, and that is where we are led by the authors and the exercises they invite us to do.In response to the authors' invitation, I found a couple of these entities and had conversations (on paper) with them. It was one of the more productive exercises in self-awareness I have ever done: I was liberated immediately from a complex I had carried for most of my life concerning money. I reviewed a couple of long-standing relationships in my life that had masqueraded as friendships for years and decided what to do about them. That was liberating, too. Not least, I made an important career decision. These were all good things.There are a number of other exercises, some more effective than others (for me). One involved creating drawings, one on each side of a piece of paper, of the opposite ends of a polarity in your life. I resisted doing this at first since I am not much of an artist. I did it anyway. To my surprise, the effort produced an attractive set of drawings that became the basis of a powerful moment of awareness concerning the way I approached my work. I attained additional clarity on that career decision I mentioned earlier. This was a very good thing, too. And by the way, it was fun to do.Living Your Unlived Life isn't for beginners on the path. Readers who are already familiar with Jungian concepts, or who have invested serious time in one or another technique of meditation, or who have already done fairly considerable "work on themselves" will have a much easier time with this book than newcomers. Having said that, I believe anyone can benefit from this book, as long as it is treated more as a study than as a read. Just be sure to do the exercises and take them seriously.

Robert Johnson was a direct student of Jung, and also of mythology. He takes the work of understanding the relevance of myth, what Campbell called the "Penultimate Truth," to a level even beyond Campbell by showing how to work with myth and the archetypes of the unconscious in daily life. Incredibly powerful and masterfully written.

Living Your Unlived Life is a short Jungian book that synthesises and develops many of Johnson's previous books on shadow work, dreamwork and active imagination, and mixes it with some reflections on archetypes, complexes, and Depth Psychology from Ruhl. The narrators use the first person, so one cannot distinguish what comes from whom. However, the book feels whole and coherent. Johnson's impromptu is clear if you have read others works by him, though. As in most of Johnson's books, a Greek myth is used as conductor, in this case the story of Castor and Pollux. You might ask why myths are still relevant for Western Culture, and the answer is because "Mythic stories, therefore, portray a collective image— they tell us about things that are true for all people." "Mythic stories tell us holistic, timeless truths, as they are a special kind of literature, not written or created by a single individual but produced by the imagination and experience of an entire culture".The second part of life or middle-age is a period of time when we seek authenticity, to be true to who we are, and to express ourselves in a way that reflects our inner truth. This is also a period of upheaval and reflection when, more than ever, we start seeking for meaning to get a sense of inner fulfilment. The main quest in the second part of life is the seek for wholeness, which means to be "hale, healthy and holy" (p. 5) and to honour our higher self, this understood as "the propensity of psyche to dynamically seek greater levels of integration, organisation, relationship, and creative expression" (note 2).Johnson & Ruhl's advice to achieve wholeness and authenticity is serious inner work, not fluff:1/ We have to 'be' more and 'do' less, or just to alternate 'being' and 'doing' more frequently. A Zen approach to life, basically.2/ We need to make the unconscious conscious, by connecting with our inner symbols, our inner secrets and paying attention to life and our way of being.3/ We should apply meta-consciousness to our thoughts, and to analyse our behaviour, so that we don't act on autopilot or repeat patterns of behaviour that are not good or harmful for us. The requires that we pause and reflect, instead of doing what we usually do, i.e. leave our unconscious to run its hidden agenda. The authors say that to disarm a complex we must learn to move our ego into a position of witness, the goal being not that of eliminating our patterned thoughts and behaviour but rather loosening them up sufficiently.4/ We need to learn to separate which parts of us are not really us but just a by-product of our culture, country of birth, gender and social class or just a projection of our families.5/ We must live our unlived lives (those parts of our character and psyche that we consciously or unconsciously repress, which are both luminous and dark) by doing shadow work, dream work and active imagination. We also need to start asking ourselves the right questions: instead of What should I do to get rid of this wrong thing in me? we should ask Why is the right thing in the wrong place?; instead of What’s in it for me? we should ask What is needed at this moment for greater wholeness, integration, and creative expression? What serves the greater good?.6/ We need to learn to look at the world with less polarity, with less duality, with less judgement, more through a coloured lens and less through a black and white one. There is no list of virtues that cannot be contradicted; this is a truth that can be liberating and frightening at the same time. We need to synthesise the opposites, tempering one with the other, and accept that both are valuable and necessary to live a balanced life.7/ We should try to keep a balance between the archetype of the Eternal Youth and that of the Wise Elder, by using an attitude of tinkering, discovery and play. Without the Eternal Youth we become morally rigid, dogmatic, judgemental, and authoritarian, but if we are too attached to the Eternal Youth we may exhibit immaturity, narcissism and an inability to grow and achieve psychological maturity.8/ We have to try and get a new mindset, as the old solutions to our mid-age problems will work against us the older we become.9/ Let's have strong ethics and walk the talk. "People who behave ethically are those who make an honest effort to conform their behaviour to their values. When your conduct is at odds with your essential character, it reflects a fragmentation of the personality. Shirking of ethical responsibility deprives us of wholeness." (p. 125). Amen!10/ We need to improve our capacity of response to the challenges of life with more flexibility, passionately, and in a powerful way by going into the previous steps.This book is full of wisdom, with some philosophical and spiritual reflections that are wonderful to ponder on, no matter the stage we are in life. I actually think that this sort of book should be read by people who are older than 25. so they can start doing something to have less neurosis and more fulfilling lives when they get to middle age.My favourite chapter is number 10, Returning Home and Knowing It for the First Time. This chapter is very thought provoking, lyrically spiritual and touching, and also very confronting in a way. It won't be an easy read if you are a hardcore Christian or just very attached to any established religious or creed; however, the chapter will be a fragrant breeze for those of us who are more spiritual than religious. In a way, this chapter is a call to arms, to the true spirit that lives within us, to break free from the chains that constrict and restrict our soul even if those are part of a set of religious beliefs and structures. Besides, this is the only chapter where old age and death are considered. The chapter is a call to the return to the divine and to oneness, and tap on the back to reclaim our personal paradise, as heaven lives within us.If this were my first book by Johnson, I would be intrigued enough to read his more detailed approaches to the Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche and Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth. If you are into Jungian and Depth Psychology, you will find wonderful applications of Jung's teachings to the challenges that your psyche and life face no matter your age.THE SHORTCOMINGS>> Although the book has great wisdom and is well written, it will disappoint the general public, who might come to this book because it has the "second part of life" in its title and they might expect precise concise answers on how to solve or face middle age issues, but they won't find but challenging inner work,.>> The structure of the book makes the message confusing. To me. they should have started explaining what an unlived life is, specifically, and how it affects our life. "To live our unlived lives" is repeated ad nauseam, but never clearly defined. Then, I would have explained how to access the unlived lives (shadow work, dreamwork, active imagination, and archetypes, in this precise order) and how to deal with our old years. I think in this way the whole book would have conveyed the same message in a more clear way. Just my opinion, of course.>> Except for some parts, this book is not specific for people in the second part of life. The bits about old age are truly so, but most of the book focus on doing things that are as beneficial for people of all ages and are interested in doing inner work.>> I have a problem with the expression "the second part of life". What is that supposed to mean? My grandmother died old and wretched in her 40s, so her middle age was in her 20s. Depending on the country or area of the world we live in, we have a longer or shorter life expectancy, and we marry and settle sooner or later. So middle age or second part of life sounds very vague to me. I would like to know, exactly, how do we know we are in that second part. Is it an age? A state of mind? A state of the soul? Being settled in life? What exactly?MIND>> Although the language is accessible, the book reads better if you already have an understanding of basic Jungian concepts, like ego, shadow, projection and archetypes. The authors have a specific reader as a target, so if you aren't one of those, you might get lost without the help of a teacher or mentor.>> Although Jungian Psychology is very much Christian and spiritual, there is a good deal of elements that could conflict with orthodox Christian beliefs because, besides the concept of psychological soul, the book is infused in Zen and Eastern Philosophies and Antiquity Greek religion. Therefore, the book might not be for readers who have a set of values deeply ingrained in established churches and religions, and believe in the value and importance of right and wrong, good and bad, and light and dark.EXERCISES IN THE BOOK > Unlived lived inventory (adapted from the Roland Evans' model, quite interesting and surprising.)> What are you stuck at? (good)> The Doing/ Being Shuffle (good)> Who am I? (good, needs of a partner or conductor).> The living symbol (not practical, need of a partner or conductor who knows what s/he is doing.)> Talking it over with yourself (interesting but it would be great if an expert did it with us the first time for we to learn.)> Dream tending (excellent.)> Follow what you love (OK.)> Dissolving the split perspective (truly interesting and fun!)Some of the exercises are great if you happen to have a guide, a psychoanalyst or mentor who has a mastery on those; otherwise, they lead nowhere. Also, some of the exercises were a bit odd, like asking yourself about the unlived lives of your parents. Some things came to mind for my parents about things they said they wanted to do and couldn't because of poverty or because their partner took them on a different path. Yet, I am not my parent's psychoanalyst, so there must be many things they wanted to live that they haven't mentioned to me because of embarrassment, because they are very personal, or because their unlived lives aren't even conscious to them. So, how can I know if some parts of my unlived life are even unfamiliar to me?RENDERING FOR KINDLEI find upsetting paying for a short digital book to find that the notes are not linked to the text they relate to, that the index is not linked either, and that some of the links do not work either.It doesn't cost much fixing that in the e-book, so I always wonder why editors don't give a damn.WHAT?!As a tool to remember and note down your dreams, the authors recommend a "voice-activated tape recorder also can be handy (p. 142)." Time to wake-up, most people would have a smart-phone with a voice recording app included, tape recorders died, like a few decades ago, no?

I’ve been reading Robert Johnson for forty years. His thought has always challenged me to broaden, deepen, and grow. This book coincides with my own experience of the last quarter (or less) of life. I’m grateful that someone of his stature appears to affirm and guide me. There is still unlived life to be lived.

This book is amazing. I read it twice. It has opened my eyes to how valuable the latter part of my life is and how to enjoy the rest of it. I highly recommend this book to anyone who may not realize that they still have a lot of good living to do. I rated this book the highest allowed but I would really give it a 10.

Title is misleading should have been learning to find full satisfaction in lesser dreams.

Seriously, I have studied these concepts for decades and am an aspiring writer, but this guy just put it in a context that pretty much just wrapped it all up in such an exquisite package with a pretty blue ribbon and gifted us with it. I just bought 6 more of his books. Why didn't I know about him till now? Clearly my higher Self was saving him for me till I was really ready to have someone tell me what I already know for absolute conformation. He has taken Jungs concepts and brought it to the table in timely elegance. Thank you for this extraordinary gift. Blessings your way. My alters and parts are having a field day!

I like it.

I've read several books now by this author(apologies to the co-author here; he's new to me!) and I can only say how much I appreciate them.This one has given me much food for both thought and action and a re-read in a few weeks time.It makes sense of the maze many of us find ourselves in during what is termed *mid-life* when we see that our life ahead is now shorter than life already lived, if you know what I mean.It's full of kindness, understanding and humanity, but if you are looking for a step-by-step self help book, this is not the book you are looking for. This is written for the seeker willing to explore and find out without having their hands held every step of the way. Another book I'd suggest by Robert A Johnson is The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden.

enjoyed every page, made me think a lotthe best book I have ever read about midlife values and understanding

Having reached a 'certain age' and wondering what to explore next in my life, I came across this book. It's a book to read slowly, to take in what it is saying. I'm about three quarters of the way through now and can say that if you read this book carefully there are riches to be found within its pages. Not only riches, but wisdom too. It is helping me to both understand where I am at and helping me to move forward. Recommended.

Good read