Crying in H Mart: A Memoir Paperback – March 28, 2023

Michelle is one of the most descriptive and talented authors I have ever come across in a memoir. Her writing takes you inside her home and you can smell the kimchi through her words. This book teaches you about the very fascinating Korean culture i.e. the foods they make, their regimented skin care routine and their traditions that have been passed down for centuries. This is so much more than a memoir. Highly recommend to anyone that wants a good book to read!

Philip Roth opens his memoir Patrimony: A True Story with a long and detailed description of his father's health that sets the stage for what is about to come: "My father had lost most of the sight in his right eye by the time he'd reached eighty-six, but otherwise he seemed in phenomenal health for a man of his age when he came down with what the Florida doctor diagnosed, incorrectly, as Bell's palsy, a viral infection that causes paralysis, usually temporary, to one side of the face." Michelle Zauner does the same, but in a much more concise way: "Ever since my mom died, I cry in H Mart." They are different, but they are the same: they are sparked by pain and suffering, they pay their respects to the ones who have gone and are missed, and they intensely connect with their roots, Jewish and Korean, respectively. And through them, Philip Roth and Michelle Zauner strive to heal their pain, using writing as therapy, no matter how different their success in that endeavor may have been.Michelle Zauner's writing may not be as ornamented as Philip Roth's, but her book is a treat all the same. Crying in H Mart is like listening to a candid confession from a close friend late at night, when everybody else has already left and you stay with her, a glass of wine and many stories. It is intimate, sincere, funny and sad, bittersweet, generously emotional. At the same time, it is also a gastronomic trip: Michelle meticulously uses traditional Korean food to connect and reconnect with her mother and her mother's relatives in Korea, and some descriptions of dishes, ingredients and dish preparations are as detailed as in a recipe book with mouth-watering pictures. There is even an almost literal transcription of one of Maangchi's tutorial videos, specifically the one where she prepares soothing jatjuk. By doing that, I think Michelle also tried to find roots in Asian references: take the Studio Ghibli movies with their beautiful scenes of food preparation, the importance of food in Haruki Murakami's novels or Bong Joon-Ho's movies. From my part, I am now a Maangchi fan.The text is extremely fluid, moving from the main plot involving Michelle's mother to flashbacks of her childhood and adolescence in a very logical and well-connected way. Up to mid-book (when the main plot sort of resolves itself), the text is so thought-of that it even sounds excessively edited--it is like a perfectly engineered, scientifically-paced Hollywood story: there is the punchline at the end of each chapter making reference to an idea cited before and causing a shiver to run up your spine, there's the perfect pacing from funny and comfy moments to describing delicious Korean food and then back to dramatic scenes, there is suspense and plot twists, all smooth and seamless. The last half of the book loses some of its stamina (except for a poignant scene at her parents-in-law's house in Bucks County, all Cinema Paradiso-like), but it is still charming, lyrical and beautiful.Philip Roth concludes his memoir concisely and in a rather bitter tone, with a short and dry sentence: "You must not forget anything." Michele grants us with a fluid, energetic and dreamlike last scene in a karaoke (noraebang), whose atmosphere made me think of Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanson in the karaoke scene in Lost in Translation, a strange simultaneous state of happiness and sadness. Indeed, this book is a testimony of Michelle's own "finding herself in translation", a funny feeling of being awkwardly out of context but even so pertaining, which is why this book seems to have resonated so much with many mixed-race children. Michelle trying her best to sing along Pearl Sister's Coffee Hanjan with her aunt Nami is indeed a beautiful image to conclude and summarize her search for her own identity by not denying but strengthening her Korean roots.

I enjoyed this story. Thank you for sharing your family's story with us. What courage it took to write this!

This is hard to explain. I am also Half Korean and Half White raised by my Korean Mother. I thought this book was a niche audience book but it touches and connects people through memory, love, loss and grief for their loved ones. The commonality of struggles of youth, untamed ambition and independence, the yearning for return of fond happier memories as we become older and realize our losses. The difference here for me as part of the niche audience is the specific cultural and ethnic aspects of being a second generation mixed race Korean Amerasian. I shared much of her problems with identity as a mixed race Korean. Many people with immigrant parents can relate to this story but this story was so specific for me. Certain aspects of the Korean Culture, some language involved but most of all……the food. The food is extremely important to any child of a mother born and raised in Korea. We are raised with it and bond with our families and Korean friends with it. Korean Food is extremely important socially. Her analogies with it and use of it in her grief to connect with better memories to recover from trauma were a genius part of her writing but also rang true for me. Where was this author for me 20 years ago? I NEVER had a book impact my life like this one has. I had a falling out with my Korean Mother and my sister and stopped communicating with them for two years until just this past year before I read the book. After reading the book it made all my grievances seem so petty in the grand scheme of things in life and had so many deep regrets. I had to call my mom and sister and tell them how much I loved and appreciated them. I sent them the book and now they understand and we’re so much closer because of it. I spent 8 years in the Army, 1 tour as an Army ER Nurse in Iraq, 2,5 years in Oncology and over 20 in ER and I thought I was tough…….but I cried like a baby through this book. I have sent this book to numerous friends. I couldn’t stop talking about this book and her music as well it was so good. Give the book to someone who may appreciate the book as a gift. A mother and daughter having trouble with eachother? Give the daughter the book first and see if anything changes. Friend’s mother passed of a terminal illness? This book can be very cathartic and comforting in the sharing of grief and memories. This book hit me like no other in my life.