He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know Paperback – May 6, 2008

He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know / 9781580052450I really loved Valenti's "The Purity Myth", and I've been reading Feministing off and on for years, so I was pretty primed to like this book, but now that I've read it I'm not quite sure how to rate it. The material here is good, and each of these double standards are absolutely worth calling out for explanation as to why they are harmful to women (as well as other minorities who may or may not overlap but who nonetheless get hurt by institutionalized misogyny). So from that perspective, this is a wonderful book that calls out genuine problems and gathers them all up for a precise take-down.On the other hand, though, this is really very "intro" material -- people who have been involved in feminist blogging for an extended length of time may end up being a bit disappointed by the fast-and-furious tone that effectively means that each of the double standards gets a mere four pages dedicated to it. That's probably to be expected in a book that covers as many topics as this, but I was nevertheless a little disappointed.Little things, too, niggled at me a bit. Valenti does address fat acceptance here, especially in a wonderful piece on why "fat suits" in movies are problematic, but the heading for each chapter (and the cover of the book) contains the silhouette of an hourglass-shaped woman, very femme, with long straight hair and her feet turned in such a way as to suggest high heels or deliberately pointed toes. Very probably, Valenti had minimum input into the cover art and chapter layout, but after seeing 50 repeated silhouettes of an Every Woman who strongly suggests straight-haired, thin, and conventionally attractive, I started feeling like I was getting a bit of a mixed message.Also here on display is some unfortunate use of ableist words, such as when Valenti uses the words "insane" and "crazy" to refer to things that she considers unfortunate or unfair. On the one hand, who am I to judge, seeing that in 2009 (when this book was written), I didn't even know what ableism was? On the other hand, it's here in a feminist book where some readers may not expect to find it, so I feel bound to mention in it my review as a sort of "content note". I will say that in a 180+ page book, I only counted about a dozen instances of "insane" and/or "crazy", so at least it's kept to a relative minimum.I think "He's a Stud, She's a Slut" is probably a really great book for a feminism introduction. The topics are absolutely germane, the analysis is quick but largely spot-on, and all of this adds up to be worthwhile for an audience that may not be entirely receptive to something meatier. Every movement needs 101 material, and I think having a strong addition to the Feminism 101 lineup is a very good thing. However, folks who are more deeply versed in feminism may be disappointed with the necessarily shallow handling of some of these topics, and some of the accidental ableism and/or absolutism* may leave advanced readers a little disappointed and looking elsewhere for something more nuanced.(* Such as when Valenti says that women who take their husband's last name aren't bad feminists but need to define their actions in very specific terms: "But if you do [take a man's last name], be honest about it. Don't say it's because it's tradition or because you don't like your last name. As Amanda noted, just be honest that it's sexist". Personally, I strongly feel that the issues around name-changing are complicated and that feminism is emphatically not about dictating women how to frame their life choices, nor about implying they are dishonest if they use different words to describe those choices.)~ Ana Mardoll

For anyone who sometimes struggles to read because of how dauntingly long a book may seem, this is for you. Each "chapter" of this book is no more than a few pages. You can read in between classes, on your lunch break, between meetings, waiting for anything, and whatever 5 minute increments you may have available in your life.Valenti approaches double standards without an overwhelming, abrasive feminist approach. Yet, she is very realistic about these kinds of challenges facing women. As someone who doesn't always identify with the common characteristics that today's feminist is associated with, I found this book to solidify my view on feminism: equality. Acknowledging the double standards and then following them with a call to action creates an opportunity for the reader to think about how to apply what Valenti is talking about in their every day life.Granted much of the subject matter is a little more adult, I highly recommend every woman to read this. There are sections that I will share with my 12 year old cousin that I wish someone had shared with me when I was her age. There are pieces I will remember to share with my daughter, if I have one. There are examples that require me to express my thanks to my mother for raising me to be first a strong person as well as a strong woman.Ladies, I also encourage you to share what you read with the men in your life. Having a conversation about what battles women face can only begin when we respectfully include men. Take this book, immerse yourself in it, and then figure out how it manifests itself in your life.

I'm not being sarcastic at all--I'm a male reader, and I found this book to be REALLY insightful stuff. I also found double-standard #51: that these are double standards that WOMEN should know. Shouldn't men know these too? I mean, I'm trying to raise my two sons with better insights than the blueprint for sexist privilege they are being handed to them every darned DAY, and I want them to see past it. So right there in the title--BAM!--another unintended double-standard. This stuff's just as integral for men to consider.Jessica Valenti's writing style is snappy, fun to read, and yet very good at disturbing the reader with insights that are dead-on but easily overlooked in our culture. I've followed the feministing website (which Jessica Valenti contributes to) for some time now, and I am constantly fascinated by the sheer amount of research and information that they find. I'm also disheartened by how often her work is dismissed as "thought police" or "hysteria"--but then, that's exactly what she's getting at in this book: male privilege allows (us) men to mouth off on TV, talk radio, and pretty much every other form of media about OUR interests, but women who do the same are labeled "guy bashing" or worse, simply for acting like actually free people. Books like this one are powerful documentaries about that dynamic, which is taken for granted to the point that those who call it out are usually personally scolded for it. All the more reason why Valenti's contribution is integral.Oh, this is really interesting, to Jessica personally: you know that part where you mentioned seeing your childhood tormentor, Eleena, talking about her own issues on TV? As amazing as this is, I know EXACTLY who you are talking about. I wonder, do you see her on-screen confessional as a sign of hope, or head-smacking "Jeez, how can she not even get this?"

Valenti does an excellent job of highlighting many of the double-standards and ingrained sexism that exist in our society. The book is very much feminism light, so is ideal for young women and / or those new to the feminist literature.

For any feminist!!!!

A fun and enlightening read. You have probably noticed all 50 of these double standards in you day to day life, but this book organizes those thoughts into a fun read. Valenti poses each point with good arguments and solid examples. She is also a funny writer making this a humorous as well as enlightening read.

This book tell and show the difference and say it shows that. Great book. Have a great read. Great book.

Valenti is a great writer, very passionate and straight to the point. These double standards are supported with evidence and are sadly still prevalent in our society today. A great awareness tool for any young woman!