The Journey: A Roadmap for Self-healing After Narcissistic Abuse

The essence of this book is described in its title. It’s a Roadmap. An incredibly helpful and hopeful roadmap for anyone recovering from the effects of narcissistic abuse. Ms miller describes the three stages of recovery – 1. Victim, 2. Survivor, and 3. Thriver – and gives the reader common markers for each stage. If you’ve suffered this type of abuse, you will recognize yourself in her descriptions. The most insidious effects of this abuse are loss of self-esteem, no longer trusting one’s self, feeling there’s something ‘wrong’ or ‘missing’ with oneself, and self-sabotage. Her book will help you overcome all that and more. After I’d spent untold years in therapy and 8+ years in Al Anon, trying to unravel the effects of alcoholism in my family of origin, Meredith’s book was a revelation. The immediate effect for me was realizing I’m not crazy after all and, for the first time, being able to make sense of it all. And, more importantly, seeing what I need to do about it.Miller’s book is a story told from the heart. She shares the very personal story of her own Journey, first in recognizing the effects of the abuse in her own life, and then, working to recover from it. She writes on page 42, in talking about Stage One: “What you most need at this point are people in your life who believe your story and those who can show you by their example that healing is possible.” Miller is one of those people; she shows us it can be done. But she would be the first to admit the healing can’t be done just from reading one book. She gives references to several other helpful books as well, and she encourages participation in 12 step programs. As my own experience with Al Anon had taught me, there are plenty of people out there who will listen to your story and believe you, just as Miller says.Miller also acknowledges that reading books and understanding the source of abuse isn’t enough. We still need to do the work. And her book is the Roadmap for doing just that. One of the very first steps in doing that work, she tells us, is “Taking 100% responsibility for your choices now and moving forward.” She tells us why that’s important, along with pointing the way for all the other steps. In Stage Three, she tells us sometimes we need to work towards Forgiveness and sometimes we don’t. And, of course, she tells us when and why.If you even suspect you may have suffered from the effects of narcissistic abuse, do yourself a favor and read her book. I spent years denying the lasting effects of my father’s narcissism. Reading her book has helped me move beyond the denial to taking proactive steps toward my recovery. With her help I now know, and accept, that it’s 100% my responsibility.

I bought this book after watching many of Meredith's FANTASTIC videos on narcissistic and psychopathic abuse. I am literally amazed at the transformative power she personally demonstrates, as a result of taking responsibility, facing her trauma and wounds, and being a light to the world. The subject of narcissism, rather, the deep pain and wounds it causes, especially growing up with such parents, is validated and invited to heal in this book. I most appreciate the personal & historical details, that give context to Meredith and her work. Her candid, courageous, vulnerable, honest, and loving account - truly guides and inspires.Here are some of the core issues, taken directly from her book, that has affected me very much:The Second Threshold -This is the turning point in your character transformation. -It is the moment when you get to the bottom of what has been holding you back. -You face your biggest fear and that which has the greatest power over your life. -You drop the blanket of false security. -Your authenticity cuts through the denial. -The trauma bond breaks. -An enormous amount of fear is released. -The shame dies. -Your false sense of self dies and a new you is reborn. -There is an immense relief of anxiety. -You burn some bridges in order to keep yourself from going back to what hurts you. (Miller, Meredith. The Journey: A Roadmap for Self-healing After Narcissistic Abuse (pp. 180-181). Kindle Edition.)The process of confronting our False Self, Love Addiction, Substance Abuse, Co-Dependency, trauma-bonds, and other consequences of growing up with such profound insults to our human dignity, is not an easy road. However, Meredith is absolutely correct in that changing your relationship to yourself, is completely worth it. This is a book of such beautiful authenticity, creativity, COURAGE, integrity, wholeheartedness, and practical guidance - anyone who has suffered from narcissism may truly benefit. It works, but only if you utilize a set of tools that are right for you. This book is an excellent tool.Meredith, you are doing GREAT things with your life. I am inspired and grateful - thank you for your excellent book!With love and gratitude for shining your Light,Rivka

I love this book. I got it because I connected with Meredith’s YouTube videos. She’s authentic and tells it like it is, based on her own recovery from narcissistic abuse. I’ve read other books that have been helpful in my recovery. They mainly focused on information about how narcissists operate or on self- care techniques. This book is different in that she gives a clear outline of the three stages of recovery in detail, based on Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces. I was able to gage where I am in my recovery and see what I need to learn next. At stage two, I can look back and see progress of where I’ve come from, and look forward to stage 3 where I am going to be completely better. For example, stage one has to do with being in denial. (The way I got myself out was to say, based on past lies, deceptions, and confronted with evidence of wrongdoing, does this person deserve the 2% benefit of the doubt I keep giving them? I think not. Does this person deserve 1%? No. Zero percent. This helped me to choose to trust my instincts, intuition of everything I see and feel.) Anyway, the book is clearly written, easy to digest. I read it quickly and couldn’t put it down. Highly recommend! Thank you, Meredith!

This book explains how to overcome narcissistic abuse and the different stages of recovery that a person will go through. It is one of the few books that focuses on overcoming the abuse rather than explaining how it is perpetrated as most books do.The author has a perfect understanding of how narcissistic abuse plays out and the steps necessary to overcome the pain and start thriving again in life. It is divided into 3 main phases and each section details what you will be feeling/thinking/going through at every stage of healing. The author is uncannily accurate in her analysis of the abuse and what is needed to overcome it. The book is incredibly validating; as someone who has personally experienced narcissistic abuse, it is reassuring to learn that the experiences you had and pain you went through was not unique to just you. I personally could relate to so many points/stages in this book, which was comforting. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is still trying to figure their way out of this type of abuse and also to those who have now come out the other side of it but are still searching for validation. It confirms that the decisions you made intuitively were correct and warranted. The book is a must read for anyone who has ever had the misfortune of dealing with a narcissist. Once I started I could not put it down and finished it in a couple of days. The information is life changing- if you implement what the author suggests you simply cannot fail!

Frankly, I was disappointed with this . Much hyped in reviews I read; I have many books on this subject and have been working with this subject for a long time. It felt like a rambling diary with no real content. I applaud the honesty, but I didn't think much of it as a book or a roadmap for recovery.

This book helped me to make sense of what happened to me, to discover in which phase of a journey I currently am, what awaits me.. It is well written, it has good examples of the author's experiences (so that you know you are not the only one making mistakes), it makes you feel human and powerful at the same time.You know that feeling when you are asking the universe for guidance and for signs? This book was that guidance for me and this review could be a sign this book is for you.. Thank you Meredith, your book has helped me a lot.

Two-thirds through the book. Meredith really knows what she is talking about. She is brilliant at explaining her thoughts feelings and all the hallmarks of healing.First saw her you tube vids and wanted to spend time reading this. You get all the benefit of her experience, knowledge and inspiration. A must if you need to heal after a narcissist has wrecked your life.

I love Meredith’s attitude towards this subject. She is one of the few outthere that focuses on moving on from abuse and she practices what she preaches! Her book is well informed and I particularly enjoyed the parts that she talks about her life. I could relate.. Thanks!