All Your Perfects: A Novel (Hopeless)

All Your Perfects by Colleen Hoover 5 stars!!! “…it’s hard to admit that a marriage might be over when the love is still there.” This is a review that I needed to write as soon as I finished the book. Normally I like to sleep on it, let my thoughts and opinions roll around my head to come up with something interesting and relevant to say. However, no matter how much thinking I do, nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever come close to representing what I just read. Nothing I could say could do this book justice, it was just one of those books that touched me on such a deep, emotional level, that I cried and I mean I CRIED. I have not cried this much over a book EVER and that is saying something. But this book, THIS BOOK, just drained me of EVERY. SINGLE. EMOTION. The message was something I could relate to, but my ending was magical, and while this couple had their own different magical ending, the road to get there just grabbed at my heart and soul and never let go, it still hasn’t. “When you meet someone who is good for you, they won’t fill you with insecurities by focusing on your flaws. They’ll fill you with inspiration, because they’ll focus on all the best parts of you.” Colleen hoover delivers an unforgettable read and I mean UNFORGETTABLE. This will be one of those rare books that I put on my ALL-TIME list, a book that I will re-read time and time again. From the minute I picked it up, I couldn’t put it down, captivating, hypnotic, poignant, intense, brutally honest, raw, emotional, heart wrenching and yet one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read. Beautiful, how so? Because this book is about true love. A love so intense, so finite and that soul mate connection we all want to find. A love that can stand the test of a category 6 and while their belief may get muddied, may be stretched to breaking point, maybe to the point of no return, that intrinsic love for one and other is what ultimately reigns supreme. A love so deeply embedded for one and other that no matter the crisis, no matter the crappy hand that you’ve been dealt, that LOVE is a permanent foundation, no wrecking ball has the power to destroy it and while it gives a good attempt at it, it doesn’t succeed. “Our marriage hasn’t been perfect. No marriage is perfect. There were times when she gave up on us. There were even more times when I gave up on us. The secret to our longevity is that we never gave up at the same time.” Graham and Quinn’s beginning is unconventional and yet while when they first meet may not have been their day, when their paths do cross again fate has definitely worked its magic. I adored Graham in this book, his personality shone through the pages, like this bright beacon of happy, hope and everything good in the world. His love for Quinn was ever present, he loves fiercely, he wore his heart on his sleeve and it just radiated off every single page, and yet the more the story progressed the more that light dimmed, but most importantly, it never went out. Graham wasn’t perfect, maybe for ninety-nine percent of the time he was, but when you are losing the one thing you love the most, desperate times call for desperate measures. He got a ten for the thought behind it, but a zero in execution. “I love you more in this moment than any moment that has come before it.” Quinn was in self-destruct mode in this book and it is one place that I could totally relate to. But this is where Colleen Hoover excelled, her portrayal of a woman in this position was honest, it was gritty, it was raw, it was warts and all. The gradual breakdown of Quinn and Graham’s marriage was a reaction to circumstance. A couple whose relationship was built on honesty and talking to one and other to one where they never talked at all. Those bottling up of emotions, thoughts and feelings that just multiply and multiply in your mind, until something relatively little, becomes a huge, huge problem. Where a couple that know what the other is thinking on a normal day, lose that ability and jump to all the wrong conclusions, they read the signs all wrong and the more they think, the more the problems manifest, the more they grow until the love is slowly pushed to the bottom and the problems just cascade over the top. “Who are you right now? What did you do with my husband?” “He’s probably somewhere with my wife. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her.” Colleen Hoover is one master story-teller, the myriad of emotions she effortlessly puts you through while capturing a test in life that many couples face was nothing short of amazing. A test that many couples battle and one you will never truly understand until you find yourself in the same situation. But Colleen Hoover goes out of her way to make you live it and she certainly succeeds. For a marriage to survive it is true what this author says, “if you only shine light on your flaws, all your perfects will dim,” and it is those perfects that you need to concentrate on. Remember the best times, the hard times are there to test us, speed bumps on the road trip of your life, but where you end up is the most important, don’t let those speed bumps derail you. Be happy, everyone deserves to be happy, and while sometimes you have to change your perception of happy, make a new one. Life is what you make it. Focus on all your perfects. What an unforgettable book!

4 stars — This was a rollercoaster ride of a book, mostly with my emotions. There were parts that I absolutely ADORED beyond measure. And there were parts that strained my sense of empathy. I was happy in the end, but definitely emotionally exhausted. Quinn and Graham were an exercise in patience in the Now chapters. While I’m not the best communicator in the world, my god! They were AWFUL at it! We mostly saw Quinn’s side because we’re in her POV, but Graham was pretty awful at communication too. I’m surprised they lasted 7 years. And therapy is boring? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I shy away from therapy too. But I don’t think I’ve ever read 2 people who needed counselling more. The Then chapters were an absolute delight. I was drawn in from the very first chapter. What a strange way to meet, a strange way to open a story. But you could already feel their connection. I kind of loved how the story was balanced between the Then and Now chapters. We got to watch them fall in love while simultaneously falling apart. I think it made it that much more heartbreaking, because you were seeing how solid they were initially, and how great a toll infertility was playing in their marriage. I will admit that I don’t want children…and never have. I was actually initially really offended with Quinn’s thought processes of how we’re only here for reproduction, so if she can’t do that she’s no use in the world. But I had to remind myself that she was only focusing on herself, and not necessarily on others (especially given her sister). So I definitely had a hard time connecting with Quinn’s all encompassing need to have children, and how it took over her life. I felt bits of it, just through Ms. Hoover’s brilliant writing, but I still couldn’t completely understand it. But I did get the resulting depression. I think that made it harder for me to *get* the degree of the struggles this couple was going through. Quinn strained my ability to empathize on so many levels. Maybe, it’s because I recognize glimmers of what she’s going through from a depression perspective, and some of her thoughts and feelings remind me of my own thoughts and feelings, and I HATE those parts of myself, so it was hard to not transfer that on to her. But Quinn took it to a whole new level, and I just had a really hard time with how things played out on her side of the marriage. I actually *felt* for Graham. It doesn’t excuse what he did by any means, but even *he* didn’t excuse what he did. He tried to explain, but not excuse. The Then chapters were honestly 5+ stars. I absolutely loved them as a couple, even if they were a bit over the top perfect in some ways. They made me laugh and grin. The Now chapters were more 3.5 stars. I appreciated the rollercoaster journey, but I’m kind of exhausted now. I wanted a bit more from Quinn at the end, but c’est la vie. I will also say that I LOVED the ending. In so many other stories it would have ended one way, and I would have been disappointed. But Ms. Hoover took the road less travelled, and I *really* appreciated that. The writing was lovely. I highlighted so many bits. The story may have been tough to digest, but the writing was beautiful. And it flowed so smoothly, the story was easy to devour (by my brain, if not my heart).

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Book is great, worth reading althoug the first 1/3 is boring. However the book comes in the ugly cover not as shown, dissapointing.

I've read Colleen books since her first book was published. I've one clicked every pre-order since. As an Endometriosis survivor who spent 6 years in the abyss of infertility, this book savaged my soul. I read books to escape the humdrum of reality. I read books to travel to different places. I read books to expand my knowledge and vocabulary. I read books for the fairytales and fantasy. I have never read a book that provided me with counseling. I don't know whether Colleen ever had infertility issues but she must or someone close to her has, because the words, the sentences and paragraphs in this book could have been written by me. Instead they haven't because I have never been able to put into real words what feelings and emotions I have endured over the last 10 years. As hard as I've tried with blogs I used to write, I've never really captured the pain and the everlasting damage or repair to my own marriage. I've never really understood my husband's side of things because I made it all about me. Thanks to the power of Kindle you can now copy text out to share it. I've shared practically the whole book and sent to my husband. He's not one for reading but I am going to beg that he reads this. This book is about marriage irrevocably altered by infertility. I got my two miracles and 4 years ago I nearly had my chance of a second miracle taken away from me. Luckily I stuck to my hope of Fairytale endings. Because I was lucky enough to get mine and I thank my blessings each day. But for the women and men who don't get that miracle or for the ones that do, this book will move you either way. It will speak to you about what the other one is thinking, thought, felt or feeling. She has somehow captured my thoughts and emotions in a sentence when I couldn't and didn't realise what those feelings and thoughts even were. The 6 years of the abyss shaped me and my husband and our marriage. I like to think it made us stronger because we weathered the storm but it was cathartic for me to revisit the abyss because I needed to handle that baggage. My marriage is 100% not perfect but it's made me realise, it really doesn't need to be. So thank you Colleen for writing a book for infertility and marriage. Thank you for the best one click of all time. You have altered my mind, expanded my knowledge and in a way my humdrum fairytale. Read this book as there aren't enough stars.

All Your Perfects foi lançado ano passado e foi lido prontamente, assim que meu exemplar chegou por aqui. Todavia, o impacto que eu senti foi tão grande que eu simplesmente não consegui resenhá-lo. Cheguei a rascunhar algumas coisas, mas nada estava à altura da perfeição da história de Quinn e Graham. Esta resenha com certeza também não estará, porém, cá estou eu, um ano depois, pronta para finalmente dar meu parecer sobre o que eu considero o melhor - dentre os que eu já li - livro de Colleen Hoover até o momento. Aproveitei o timing do lançamento de Todas as Suas (Im)Perfeições, versão brasileira da história, para fazer uma releitura. Eu pensei que seria mais fácil, afinal, eu já conhecia a trama... mas eu estava redondamente enganada! Eu sofri e me emocionei como se este tivesse sido meu primeiro contato com estes incríveis personagens. Quero deixar um alerta: All Your Perfects é um livro muito difícil. É um livro adulto, com dramas adultos, sendo o principal deles a infertilidade. Achei um grande equívoco o fato do Grupo Editorial Record ter decidido lançar esta história pelo selo Galera. Se você enfrentou ou está enfrentando problemas para engravidar, saiba que este livro possui gatilhos muito pesados, mas ao mesmo tempo é uma das mais belas histórias sobre esperança, persistência e comprometimento conjugal que já tive a oportunidade de ler. Vou falar uma coisa que não faz muito sentido, mas é a mais pura verdade: há uma romantização excessiva do amor. Ué, como assim, Tami? Gente, o amor não é um sentimento fácil. Manter uma relação é uma das coisas mais difíceis que existem e poucos são aqueles que são suficientemente fortes para passar por todas as provações e percalços da vida a dois e ainda assim permanecerem juntos. E aqui eu não estou falando de sofrimentos causados pelo cônjuge, e sim de efeitos colaterais causados por situações que fogem do controle do mesmo. Falar sobre os meus sentimentos para com este livro é complicado, pois acredito que a absorção da história vai depender muito da bagagem emocional do leitor. Alguém que nunca se relacionou com ninguém e que nunca passou pelas mazelas de um relacionamento não vai encarar a história com os mesmos olhos de uma pessoa que já enfrentou os altos e baixos de uma relação. O amor muitas vezes não é suficiente e está tudo bem. Há diversos outros fatores a serem levados em consideração. Mas e quando o amor é tão profundo e verdadeiro, mas nossas frustrações e nossa dificuldade de dividir nossos sentimentos começam a interferir e começam a afastar quem está ali apenas para somar? Assim que Quinn começa a enfrentar seus problemas de concepção, ela se fecha de uma maneira praticamente inalcançável. Nada do que Graham faça ou diga é capaz de trazê-la de volta. A mulher segura e divertida de antes torna-se uma mulher infeliz, que se acha indigna e incompleta. É sufocante vê-la se afogando em seu próprio sofrimento sendo que ao lado dela havia um homem ansioso para lhe estender a mão. Tudo o que Graham queria era poder ajudá-la. Ver Quinn sofrendo tanto e saber que seu passado, sua presença, seu toque e suas palavras dificultavam ainda mais o processo é muito doloroso para ele, mas em momento algum ele coloca sua dor acima da dor de sua esposa. É preciso ter muita empatia durante a leitura de All Your Perfects. Era muito mais fácil me colocar no lugar de Quinn, afinal, sou uma mulher e também sonho em ser mãe. Mas e Graham? E os sentimentos dele? Ele poderia não estar enfrentando a infertilidade diretamente, mas estava enfrentando-a indiretamente. Se Quinn não podia ser mãe, ele também não podia ser pai. E aí? É óbvio que me compadeci muito mais com a dor de Quinn, mas felizmente sou capaz de enxergar a dor de um ser humano independentemente do seu sexo. Acompanhar a luta desse casal foi uma lição de vida, de verdade! Desde que eu li esta história pela primeira vez prometi que nunca faltaria diálogo nas minhas relações. Se é para ser feliz, vamos ser felizes juntos. Se é para sofrer, vamos sofrer juntos. E se a pessoa não for capaz de entender que a base de um relacionamento é isso, a comunhão, aí sim a gente parte para outra. Estamos na era dos relacionamentos descartáveis, onde é muito mais fácil abandonar o barco quando ele está afundando ao invés de lutar para mantê-lo flutuando. E aqui eu repito: não confunda sofrimento causado por uma pessoa com sofrimento inerente à vida, ok? Não há muitos personagens secundários nesta história. A mais relevante seria Ava, irmã e melhor amiga de Quinn, mas não vou discorrer sobre ela porque realmente não faz muita diferença, apesar dela ser uma fofa! Há também Avril, a mãe de Quinn que é uma verdadeira socialite, com todo o estereótipo que a palavra carrega. Não vou me alongar muito mais, pois quando se trata de um livro favorito eu falo, falo, falo, mas nunca fico satisfeita com nada. Se eu consegui passar um pouquinho do que eu senti durante a leitura, ótimo; se eu não consegui, me desculpem. 😅 Já faz alguns anos que prefiro ler os livros da autora em seu idioma original, mas sempre quero as edições BR também porque sou dessas. Apesar da capa original não ser um exemplo de beleza, ela transmite a essência da história nos pequenos detalhes. Os paperbacks gringos têm uma qualidade muito ruim, a gramatura das folhas é baixa e orelhas são inexistentes, por isso é preciso ter bastante cuidado até para encaixar o livro na estante. A história é narrada por Quinn e os capítulos são alternados entre o passado e o presente, tornando a leitura ainda mais agridoce. A cereja do bolo fica por conta do crossover entre este e um outro livro da autora. Não vou falar qual é porque considero um spoiler, pois seria fácil fazer a associação. Mas gente, é a coisa mais linda e o momento, ainda que bem singelo, encheu meu coração de amor e os meus olhos de lágrimas. All Your Perfects é uma joia rara. É uma história que ajudou e vem ajudando inúmeras mulheres que enfrentaram ou estão enfrentando a infertilidade. Há um grupo de discussão em inglês no Facebook onde é possível ler inúmeros relatos de mulheres que leram a história e resolveram dividir suas experiências. No fim das contas, criou-se uma corrente de solidariedade, onde mulheres estão ajudando outras mulheres neste momento tão difícil e doloroso. All Your Perfects é real. Ele não tem medo de ser pé no chão e não nos presenteia com o final de contos de fadas. Seu final é crível, é possível, é belo e nos enche de esperança. Ele nos faz olhar para dentro de nós mesmos e nos faz enxergar nossa própria força. Nos faz lembrar e dar valor àquilo que temos ao invés de sofrer por aquilo que não temos. É uma história que vai tocar seu coração de uma maneira profunda e visceral. E tenha certeza de uma coisa: você vai lembrar dessa história por muito, muito tempo!