Breaking Free: My Life with Dissociative Identity Disorder

I enjoyed reading "Breaking Free" by Herschel Walker, but was a bit disappointed by it because it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. He never told how his family reacted to his diagnosis of DID, nor where he was as far as his therapy today, or where he was as far as integration. I know he was trying to remove the stygma from DID, but not having suffered the extreme abuse I did, it was hard to relate to him. Also he may have grown up with very little as I did, but he's never suffered the financial hardships I have as an adult because of extreme panic and anxiety disorders I have a hard time holding a job. Plus during my abuse I received permanent damage to some of my joints and have to deal with pain on a daily basis. Unfortunately for me I don't have an alter who can take the pain so I don't have to deal with it. Where as he's got the freedom to announce to the world that he's DID, if I did that I'd have to share what caused my DID. Since I've already lost my extended family because they don't believe me about my abuse and men in my family are some of my abusers, I don't have the freedom to share my diagnosis with anyone outside my adult children, husband and one good friend and of course my therapist. This makes me feel very isolated and alone. I know Herschel understands the loneliness and isolation, but when I'm ready to write my autobiography I will have to use a "Pen Name". There are those in my family who might sue me for defamation of character as one of my abusers is in full time ministry and it would destroy his ministry, and as a Christian I just can't do that no matter what he did to me. I am glad Herschel was able to share his story and that he's benefited from it, as I'm sure others have, but I don't have the freedom he has to share his story. Over all it was informational and good to read of someone else having what I do, but he has fame behind him and can use his name to promote his story and book, I just don't have that luxury and I have many, many, more alters than he has. Yes for him, integration is the ultimate goal, but for my alters there will never be total integration since I've been DID for over 52 years of my life and some of my adult alters as well as some of my child and middle alters refuse to integrate. Plus I don't know that I could handle the stesses of my life as a singleton. I don't like being DID, but it saved my life and it's the only life I've ever known. Good luck Herschel, it seems you're well on your way to total health.

I enjoyed reading this book. It's well written and a book I appreciate. It's relatable and shows a person can have D.I.D. and can have a functional life or one that can even far exceed anyone's expectations. That in itself could be comforting for someone trying to make sense of a diagnosis, whether their own, or that of a loved one. It's a story that shows there is a spectrum of D.I.D., giving another view of what D.I.D. can look like. To Herschel Walker: Thank you for writing this book.

Overall, I liked this book. One has to admire Herschel for going public with his diagnosis, one poorly understood by the general public and often associated with severe pathology. That took courage, which the author seems to have in abundance. His writing shows an intelligence not commonly associated with sports, and he gives articulate expression to the various manifestations of his version of DID. A real plus of Walker's account is that he describes an "up" side to this condition, stating clearly for the layperson that it has certain adaptive and self-protecting qualities.That said, I was left with some questions. While the book seemed forthright and honest, he describes about a dozen different "alters" (formerly called multiple personalities) that he claims have arisen from his being tormented as a fat and stuttering schoolboy--while undoubtedly painful, his schoolyard abuse is hardly the type that normally spawns this fragmented condition. And as a clinical psychologist, I have treated DID patients. A more common presentation than his involves distinct changes in personality including voice, body posture, emotional expression, etc. . . . like you are really seeing different people. He says that his shifts were more subtle, nothing that could be seen externally, more like discrete changes in mental state known only to him at the time. That raises (for me, at least) the issue of whether or not this devoted and highly focused athlete is not simply given to a rather strict compartmentalization of his feelings, a medium that he would admit he is not comfortable with. Even his most personal relationships have suffered from his tendency to be so self-contained. Or perhaps DID is best explained as a "spectrum" disorder, ranging in degree of severity, as we now know autism to be. Who knows?While he talks about his repeated "thrill-seeking" with Russian roulette, Walker notable leaves out of his story the fact that he several times put a gun to his ex-wife's head. And he glosses over a bit the fact that he had an affair despite his born-again Christian beliefs. When a "tell all" book tells not quite all, you are left wondering what more has been left out.

This is such a good read...it seems as if Herschel is sitting across from you telling the story. As a family with 2, possibly 3 bi-polars it is nice to see someone embrace their illness instead of hiding it. Don't the elite in their fields realize many times it is because of mental illness they are able to perform to the degree they do? It is a double edged sword. I love how Herschel makes it a gift to use to his advantage. If all mentally ill people in this country(U.S.) were formally diagnosed instead of in hiding it would shock this nation. Thanks to people like Herschel they are moving away from being included in the "okay to discriminate against" club. P.S. truth be known, one can see a degree of mental illness in everyone! Herschel...I loved you as a teenager. I admired/tried to mimmick your workouts(pushups, setups and weights) to the point people asked me if I was a bodybuilder! I love your strong faith. Until we learn it is all in His hands we will struggle. Thank you for the inspiration. [email protected]

Walker raconte avec beaucoup de générosité son parcours de champion, sa vie intime et ses problèmes cognitifs/émotionnels. Ayant grandi dans un petit bled, Walker a surmonté ses difficultés scolaires, physiques et sociaux pour atteindre le sommet du sport pro. Ce livre est intéressant de plusieurs points de vu, sociologique et psychologique. Sa vie après le football est aussi fascinant, businessman, compétiteur dans d'autres sports, et conseiller auprès d'anciens soldats souffrants de PTSD (stresse post-traumatique).